My Dream House

DREAM HOUSE.
I have a dream, and in it, a house.

Someone once said, a house means nothing, if it is not a home. To me, a home does not need to be a house.

My dream house, has the sky as the ceiling, and the earth as the floor. We would tread on the bare soil, and cherish its coolness.

My dream house, has its fence set on the horizons, and its gate open to all. We would welcome each other with open arms, colour-blind and religion-oblivious.

My dream house, is more than a house, it is a home, it is an idea, it is a place where we could live, where we ALL could live.

It is everywhere, and nowhere. It is as wide as my heart can accept, and can only be as narrow as my mind. There I would live, cry, and die. Free to roam and free to lie.

My dream house, is the world.

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Heavenly Hell

"Do you want to go for temporary monkhood? It’s only for 10 days."

  When I said yes to that question, I didn’t know what I was signing up for.

I mean, how bad could it be?

 

 Imagine, given 3 days notice.

You are sent across seas, to another state where you’ve never been before…

alone.

 

There you are driven into a forest,

to reside in some remote hermitage.

 

No family, no friends.

No handphone, no computer, no tv.

No, hot water, no air-con.

No bed.

Oh, and no eating after 12.30pm.

 

And some personally torturing things,

No reading,

No singing,

No listening to music,

No playing games of any sort,

Nothing to write on.

 

 

Heck, you’re not even encouraged to speak!

 

 One of the worse parts are the mosquitoes actually… and you’re not allowed to kill them.

I mean, they’re sitting there, and it’s sooooo itchy.

 You watch them:

  See their stomachs bulge up.

See them enjoying themselves with your life’s fluid…

 But you’re supposed to

Let them suck, let them be, bless them.

  Requires loads of persistence huh?

 

  Now let me tell you the schedule.

Everyday, you must wake up at 4.30a.m.

 and so it begins:

 

4.30 am Sitting Meditation

6.00 am Chanting

7.30 am Breakfast

8.30 am Sitting Meditation

11.00 am Lunch

1.15 pm Sitting Meditation

3.30 pm Sitting Meditation

6.00 pm Sitting Meditation

7.30 pm Rest

8.00 pm Dhamma Talk

9.00 pm Lights out

 

  Yes, what the hell?

7.5 hours of sitting meditation per day, 1.5 hours every session.

 EVERYDAY.

FOR 10 DAYS.

 

 Sigh….

 

You know what, actually it’s not that bad.

 

 Especially when you have companions.

You make new friends.

 You start enjoying bathing in cold water.

You gain inner peace.

 

Slowly, I started to enjoy just sitting there and doing nothing!

  Lol. That’s the best part I guess.

 To just sit there, and feel at peace with the world..

To have not a single worry, and be able to see lights while you meditate (called Animita)

 

And my master, Bhante Mangala told me that by being a monk, simply

 

 In fact, I even considered becoming a monk for life!

I’m serious.

 At this point you probably think I’ve gone crazy.

But now that I’m home, I realise that possibility is quite small.

 

Some things, you just can’t let go.

 One thing is my parents.

They are the most frequent to pop up while I meditate.

 The other is my friends..

 Those in particular I have told them..

 

That’s about it I guess..

 

 There,

at Tusita Hermitage,

Kuching, Sarawak.

 

I realised the meaning of life.

 

 

Her

Every sleepless night he thinks of her,
He lays in mounds of sorrow and tears.
Memories of white roses painfully clear,
He wished he wasn’t the one standing here.

“God!” he asked, “why are you so unfair…”
Fear gripped him as he thought of the nightmare,

Violent shaking of the splitting earth,
Wailing of fate, whispers of death and birth.

Holding hands in the dark, they knew they had
Instants left, but nowhere to run, nor hide.
She looked down, and their eyes met,
The angel spread her wings and hugged him tight.

The world around them collapsed, but she held on.
She knew her time had come, but she held on.
With her last breath, the Mother said, “I love you, son"

A Jew’s Pal

I wonder what it’s like to be a Jew’s pal during WW2.

Lol, but that’s beside the point.

 

minus the’s,

remains the heads,

of birth bestowed titles,

 

which blind,

yet ignorant,

 

 are hollow?

is it? (hahahaha)

a paradox.

 

Meh,

the sands will tell.

 

wahahahahahaha, betcha won’t get this one. Sorry for the confusion caused, but I had to write this.

The blind who lost his cane

The blind who lost his cane would be me.

It means one catastrophe upon the other, in case you’re wondering about it.

 

6/10/08

10:00 p.m.

So sleepy…

No! No!

Have to study…

 

Dozed off

 

7/10/08

3:00 a.m.

Huh?

What am I doing?

OMG I left the lights on…

 

Off lights, slept again.

 

6.00a.m.

Why am I sooo tired….

Disturbed sleep….

 

6:42 a.m.

So tired.

Reached LRT station.

Missed train by 14 seconds….

 

7:44 a.m.

So tired.

"I want all of you to write a letter explaining

WHY you are absent!" – 死蛋狸

What the Afghanistan…

To save Colin’s butt

(he told us it was canceled)

Lied about it.

 

10:04a.m.

So tired.

First bite of break.

Yeow!

Ulcer hurts…

Check in mirror.

It’s as large as 10 cent coin…

 

1:24 p.m.

So tired.

"Madam 死蛋狸 (Stanley) wishes to see the monitors."

Forgot who was the messenger.

"Both of you have showed great insubordination."

"Why did you address the letter to Mdm Tasdeeqa instead of me?!"

"What are you trying to prove, huh?!"

"Trying to set the teachers against each other?!"

"Let me see your letter!"

Joey’s, not mine… phew

 

"What is this… with referrence to the caption above?!"

"You think this is a what… cartoon caption ah, hah?!"

"I will take necessary action…"

Want to be a prefect?

Maybe I should just pop my bubble of hope

 

1:51 p.m.

A slightly plump figure marched to the front door.,

turns towards the class…

"Is this Mr. Sugumar’s Class?"

 

Doombringer 多弱敌 (Dorothy) has appeared before us!

 

"No, Madam." Ruthraz with his unstoppable blabber.

"What do you mean?!"

"It’s not his class."

"What are you all having right now?"
"Moral."

"Who’s your teacher?"

"Mdm. Piriya."

"She left 3 months ago! WHO is your teacher!"

"Uhh…"

"I was assigned for this class!"

 

I was laughing my heart away.

 

"All of you, don’t even know who your teacher is!"

 

Apparently, at this point of time,

someone made some noise that sounded like a

freakin cat.

 

"Who made that noise, huh?!"

"All of you, stand up!"

 

Beside me, ZY mumbled

"Lol."

 

"Why are both of you talking while I am talking?!"

"I suspect it was one of you that made the noise!"

 

Me?

She’s nuts.

 

"Write down your name on this paper!"

 

Just now after the 死蛋狸(stanley) business,

my hopes of becoming prefect were diminished

Now,

even becoming a monitor…..

 

"Don’t think you’re a prefect then I’m scared of you!"

 

How many years was she in Wesley?

Or perhap the humongous sunglasses

that made her look like a freakin fly

obscured her vision.

 

She is mad anyway.

 

"and STOP SMILING!"

 

"Both of you were talking while I was talking!"

 

Would she be able to hear us if we talked while she talked?

Fat chance.

 

She sat down in front of me.

 

Took my exercise books.

 

Read through them.

 

In one of them, I had a conversation with Kar Jin.

She nosily read it all.

Then she ransacked the whole teacher’s table.

Drawers.. Tabletop decorations…

 

If that wasn’t enough.

 

"Only the girls may sit down now."

 

"I’m sure girls wouldn’t have made that noise."

 

I was cursing under my breath. SEXIST!

 

2:27 p.m.

So tired.

Neck sore from bending down to read.

Still standing.

多弱敌 as b****y as ever.

Eyeing me with suspicion between intervals.

 

"Since nobody wants to admit,"

"What should all of you say?"

I DID NOT want to say it.

 

"sorry……"

Boys with 0% enthusiasm and

-100% sincerity.

 

"AGAIN!"

"Sorry… Madam…"

 

"YOU! I didn’t hear you say it!"

She pointed her bony finger of death

at an innocent small pitiful boy

– Vimal

 

"Sssory Madam."

 

Speechless.

 

"I will be your relief teacher for THIS Moral period from now on!"

 

Nutcase.. we won’t be having any more of them.

PMR hols post-exam.

 

Okay, just complaining about my bad day.

 

Haizzz… Never mind.

 

Nights

Night 1.

 

Bad mood.

Screams in the dark.

Monotony.

 

2:00 a.m.

 

Woke.

Raining.

Heaven’s tears.

Dreamt.

Flung bolster away.

More screams.

Sleep.

 

*  *  *

 

Night 2

 

Staring.

Hell’s tears.

Starless sky.

Dreamt.

 

Woke.

Cold floor.

Away from bed.

Sleep.

Dreamt.

 

Dreamt.

Woke.

Choices. No. Destiny.

At times it seems like we have the power

to make choices in life.

But some thing we cannot control

even if we chose

a different path already.

 

Ok, OKJ.

You asked for this entry,

and since I really feel like it now,

I’ll write about it.

 

Friends.

Many of them,

are leaving next year.

 

International school….

Better education….

 

Dammit.

 

It’s all true.

International schools have a better syllabus

compared to the government one.

 

They have more English exposure

You can still learn Chinese

Even French!

 

You learn World History

World Geography.

In some International schools,

Bahasa Melayu doesn’t exist.

It has no place at all.

 

It’s good!

It’s damn good!

It’s extremely beneficial!

 

Damn the school fees,

Knowledge should not be valued

with money.

 

Damn the occasional

bad student

spoiled student

As long as you have a strong hold

on your principles.

 

But it’s just sad to see

so many of my friends….

leaving.

 

I look at them

and think

I may not see them ever again

after this year.

 

Dammit.

 

Maybe I should just go too.

 

The education is obviously

waaay better.

 

The fees are affordable.

 

I already changed school once,

I can cope with the new environment.

 

My leaving won’t make

the slightest difference.

 

No, no.

That’s a lie.

 

My leaving will make a difference…

But never mind.

Just act as if I never ever

came to Wesley Methodist School

 

I am a relatively new student anyway.

My future is more important than

my current friends.

 

They’ll get over me.

Besides, who needs friends when you have

family?

 

My sister is enough company.

She is the one

whom I will stick together with

for all our lives.

 

Maybe I’m destined to go.

Just maybe.

 

But dammit.

I’ll miss you all. 

 

 

The Law of Attraction Works! (when you don’t want it to)

I  must first explain the law of attraction.

If you wish for something really hard, something that you cannot do anything to achieve except for hoping for it,

There’s a good chance you’ll get it.

 

That’s what happened to me.

Apparently I didn’t wish hard enough…

 

I was home alone,

my family went to the other half of the Malaysia Peninsular

to visit my

dying great-grandmother.

 

I felt alone,

so I called a few friends for company.

 

Hehehe… Now the confusing part comes.

For those who know me, you’re probably going to have a hard time finding out

who is who unless

you are one of them.

 

A, L, K, J

 

First, I invited K for a game.

K was busy at that moment.

 

Then, I called L.

L did not pick up.

 

I called A.

A asked me to call back 5 minutes later.

 

K could play then.

So I played with K.

 

Before I could start,

J called,

I said I would call J back later.

 

I was playing with K,

L called.

I quit the game

to talk to L.

 

You see what I mean?!

 

Things don’t come when I want them to!

 

Any confusion caused is deeply regretted.

and I did notice that the four letters spell out 2 people’s initials.

I do think I’m bubblegum.

 

 

 

Rantings of a Not So Normal Guy

Wondering why I’m not so normal?

That’s because I’m abnormally lousy and was unlucky today.

Today was a bad day…

 

This person, Lipton, needed a friend.

I was asked to help her, be her friend.

Turned out, I shocked/scared her….   -_-"

 

Some things are better for us not to interfere.

 

This person, Lypton, has a crush on my friend.

and my friend, KipTon is excited about it.

Today she was hanging around with me…

and I made him overreact, now everyone thinks he like her.  -_-"

 

Some people just don’t know how to do the right things at the right times.

 

KypTon wanted to throw a basketball at me.

He was holding his handphone on the other hand.

I tried to hit the ball,

and smacked his handphone to the granite floor…     -_-"

 

Some people are just unlucky.

 

I bought a piece of bread to eat on the LRT.

This Indian guy came in and pointed to the sign

"NO Food and Drinks"

I always do those on the LRT.

He got down,

I started eating again.

 

Hey, at least I did not eat in front of him.

Besides, the rule was to keep the LRT clean,

and I did it better than some people who tainted the whole LRT by merely breathing.

 

This Malay lady sat opposite me

at exactly the same seat,

and said I was being rude for eating in front of her.

She was fasting.

I was so pissed

I ate the whole bread

and enjoyed it

right under her nose

and envious eyes.

 

I’m a vegetarian okay, and I’m okay with people eating meat in front of me. I know they’re fasting, it doesn’t mean I need to fast with them too….

She acted as if the whole world must follow whatever she did…   TnCgLk lar and VTSbt lar did not know how to fight for rights…..

 

Reached station,

finally close to home.

Transport problem.

40 minutes

down the drain.

 

I called my driver, voice mail. I called my mother, voice mail. Called my house, WRONG NUMBER accidentally called my neighbour because I too frequently dial their number…

 

Back home.

Mom’s flaming

blasting at us to bathe

and eat dinner…

 

Cannot be angry at mother. She is the saint of all saints. She is beautiful when she is angry. Too bad she is often beautiful.

 

Homework,

not done.

But feel tired already…

 

PMR in less than 3 weeks. To Afghanistan with all those work man!

Afghanistan, bombarded by US, is hell ^